Meet our Team: Donald
My Journey
In my household women always got the last word. And the first word. And – well - most of them actually. Insulated within a home where women were such prominent leaders, it was the stories and experiences my mother and grandmother shared that gave me a true look at the hardships and inequalities women face. It was, and is, so hard for me to wrap my head around my grandmother not being legally allowed to open a bank account or change her last name when getting divorced, being condescendingly referred to as “Mrs. So-and-So,” or always being reduced to the “wife of” rather than seen as an individual.
Yet these types of experiences have existed throughout my grandmother’s life, and she’s always been a role model for how to push back. From a young age, she questioned the rules and restrictions put on women. In church, she was forced to follow the Code of Canon Law requiring women to wear head coverings. The disillusionment she felt when learning it was not God himself who created the law, but men, was the beginning of a lifetime of navigating rules that men imposed upon women, from having to wear long skirts even when it was hot and never being allowed to wear pants, to having different rules to follow when playing sports or being outright restricted from participating (to this day, it still infuriates my grandma that she wasn’t allowed to take more than two steps before passing the basketball). The women in my family have always been headstrong with a need to not only be involved but to lead. My grandma never accepted that she wasn’t allowed to “be out there with the boys” – she insisted that she had every right to. Every time society told her she couldn’t, she did.
My “Why”
Growing up I constantly had my grandma and my mother whispering in my ear reminders of the strength of women. (Who am I kidding, my family is loud.) *Shouting* in my ear reminders of the strength of women. It is because of them I find it important to use my identity as a man to do my part in enacting change and fighting for equity- not only between men and women but within the classes society further divides women into according to their background and experiences. The unfair legal system that prioritizes paternal rights over maternal and requires women to meet higher expectations with fewer supports yet society/legal system not setting women up to do so, is among the many reasons it’s so important for me to champion change. As men, this is our fight as well, and I hope to lead by example.
TheVision for Change
The unwavering support and encouragement from my mom and grandma also pushed me to do things I never thought possible, including pursuing my passions and growing up to be a professional dancer and trainer for female artists I’d looked up to my whole life.
Little did I know that 20 years later I would have the honor of training my hero Melanie Brown [you probably know her as Scary Spice] for their second reunion tour and the privilege of befriending a woman whose journey would impact me as much as my mother’s and grandmother’s. Melanie has overcome the odds to become a survivor who to this day continues to work for women and children whose voices have been silenced. Because of her, laws have been enacted in the UK to assist women in their tireless fight to be recognized, seen, believed, and honored by ensuring they have the rights they deserve. (Please take a moment to read her story in her own words, “Brutally Honest.”) Her legacy began causing a ruckus many decades ago and continues to reverberate to this day, inspiring me daily to join her in this fight.
While I sometimes feel I know so little about how much these experiences truly impact the women in my life, I want and am willing to learn. I may not be able to verbalize every change we need to address, but I can say that I’m listening and I am here to amplify the voices and needs of those who know best.
